20May2012

Dear diary,
Today's 20th May, Sunday.

Its 520 today,which means 'I love you'. The bf did wished me last midnight.although I know he said it because he saw it on facebook,but still,he said it to me..im touched :)

Today we met again.and sadly he's not feeling well. at first was only flu..and then slowly it gets worse..I think he had fever already :(

I was at his house with him..I was there. I was there when he's sick..but I couldnt do anything to help him. I see him from being a cheerful guy to a...helpless kid..
MY HULK IS SICK :(


Its pain in my heart. It hurts. Its like a knife poked through my heart.
I wanted to do something for him..I want to play my girlfriend role this time.. I refilled water for him..check if he's sick..I took stuffs for him.. I tried boiling hot water for him,but he didint want me to do so..
I felt like..Im so useless..I failed to be a good girlfriend..When my boyfriend is sick..I cant do anything to make him feel better..I tried to give him a sweet pat..but he said my hand's sticky..I felt so..useless.
I dont want him to feel like.. got girlfriend = no girlfriend.
Its different now. He has a girlfriend..but his girlfriend is useless.
She cant cook..she cant make him comfortable..she cant do anything to make him feel better..and worse
she left his house early,leaving him alone. 
I sat at a corner of his house..occasionally turning and looking at him.. he looks as if he's okay..but his sinus is not getting better..I want to help him,but i dont know what can i do..im so phail.
I nearly shed tears at his house..when he's lying down on my shoulder..trying to rest...but he couldnt cause tomorrow's exam.. and me? I just stupidly sat there..

I dont know what can i do..other than hoping you'll be alright soon..
I know you dont want to trouble me..but I want to do something for you..
you've been saying I treat you bad..and I know it..
I felt so helpless..

get well soon,my hulk.. I want to see my cheerful and parlia hulk again :'(

Sign Off

Erica Bong

7.41pm

xoxo.

520,love.