30May2012

Dear diary,
today is 31st May 2012, on a Thurday night..

Day before yesterday we went to Setia City Mall as planned. WeiPin JinLin ChinChai Kenny TatWai and Peter tagged along too.
While waiting for our breakfast at a chicken rice restaurant,WeiPin talked about what happened the day before when TatWai challenged the police by speeding even after got caught. LOL
never thought he would be that daring to not stop when he's asked to and end up he, WeiPin and Peter have to go to the police station -.-

I call the bf to drive dad's car..cause the night before he used his dad's car to snowflakes already..so yeah,we went with 3 cars.
At first we walked together..and then in seperate ways where the bf and I walked together.
Although we went there with insufficient budget,I do enjoy the moment window shopping with him.. he'll let me know which is nice..and I'll let him know if that's my taste too.

saw my friend posted durian puff on instagram and its in Setia City Mall.

I remember sister brought this back the other day..

I want more.

At night, his cousin sister asked him to bring Me along to VB for dinner.She said she'll be very unhappy if I didint attend.deng.

It was scary there,at times..cause there're too many people..and his cousins are all sort of teasing and stuff..

lucky I brought along Men's Health so I can escape from hearing lol.

Babi bf teased me infront of everyone when his cousin sister offered me guavas. DENG.

but i didint mind..as long as everyone's happy..and so do the bf :)

I enjoyed the night thou...lucky no one hates me..and some even recognized me.

So I guess now Im known in his big family..?

SIN SO is me,apparently. lmaoo

************************************

Wednesday 30th May 2012

I had tuition in the later afternoon so we didint get to meet in the morning.

But as soon as my tuition finishes..although Mr Sugu said he'll extend our tuition time..

cause I have to rush back home for his big family's wedding dinner.

As soon as I reached home..I quickly went to prepare myself..wore contacts..did make up..and tried to curl my hair..but failed.

not my fault thou,its the ciplak hair curler quality..not only it make my hair look uglier,also damaged my hair zz

then the bf came to fetch me.

*opens the car door*

*sits on the passenger seat*

: Wow, leng lui leng lui.

*blushed*

The bf said im lenglui that day.ya right,cause I put my make up on,that's why. but im happy thou,he said I look pretty that day.. at least I didint disappoint him..did not disgrace him infront of his big family..he'll be even happier when there's people saying 'wah sin,got gf liao ar.looking pretty'

I love to see him being happy.

Had a short chit chat session with his bro's gf.. 

she said

:Ehh,I thought that time you said you guys wont be together one...

:Since when? haha

:there..that time we met and you guys said that

:ya meh? I dont know.. haha

:been together for very long dy?

:not really..not even 1month

The bf did helped me to take foods..without having me to remind him or ask him to.

Im happy that he did took care of me..even sometimes he left me alone.. but I can still see him from far..its better than I cant see him at all if i were to stay at home.. although he didint say.. hug me or do couple actions.. I still feel happy..everyone now recognizes me :)

the bf caught the bride's flower early that morning and everyone congratulated him.

he got teased and asked him to give it to me...

as soon as I sat in his car.. he said 'nahh' and gave it to me.

its with me now. 

Thanks my husband.

mata sepet collection. should have asked the bf to take these kind of pictures too.

congrats to the newly-weds!

outfit of the day.

matches with the one bf's wearing.

noob bf took my spec and he looks damn kao nerd now. 

black&white version.

FIRST PHOTO TOGETHER!!!

like,FINALLY!

and he requested for it. I only requested to take photo of himself.

Heee.

I think I look older than him in this pic...maybe I should take off the spec. 

hmm

Cheryl requested for a group photo.

I think the bf is happy cause finally he get to take couple group photos with his cousins. lol

and ironically,cheryl tagged the bf on facebook..and

apparently

the whole form6 will get to see this photo.

ME and HIM.

okay,I dont know how to avoid from being asked now. deng.

<3 

*******************************************

Friday 31st May 2012

Early this morning I went to MidValley with the bf and his brother.

been going to malls with him these few days.. although its just window shopping..i still like to go.

and I cried in the car.

i really felt hurt..cause I didint mean it.

I pushed my leg to the front until the seat infront..his brother felt the bulging side and told me off,in a friendly way.

I apologized..I know that's rude..

and I accidently repeated the same mistake,and his bro made the decision to adjust his seat.

The bf told me off then 'See,dont want to listen.'

I was like.. I didint mean it..

You said it as though I purposely did that..

I know its rude.. and if i'd notice I wont do that..

I didint mean it..

then at that moment of time..

tears started to roll down my cheeks..

It hurts.. I wanted to stop the tears but i couldnt.

I didint mean it.

The bf tried to console me but failed..until we reached MidValley..

the bf held my hands.. and I tried my best to bury myself on his shoulder..

I think I had this kebiasaan..where I love to look for his shoulder whenever Im sad..hurt..and feel like crying..

That's my comfort place..that's the place where I can find protection..although he's the one who hurt me..but his shoulder did nothing wrong..

I love you because I love your shoulder.

Instead of going for a walk, or shopping

we went to GSC and watch Snow White and the Huntsman.

the evil step mother a.k.a. the Queen

Princess

rating : 7/10

The bf shivered in the cinema.. I tried my best to give warmth..transfer heat to his hands.. make him feel warm..cause I've got my jacket to cover myself so I felt okay..(although my other limbs are cold)

he held hand in hand in the cinema.. occasionally he kissed my hand.. or smelled my hand.. I dont know..and we kissed.I felt touched, lol.

After that we headed for home.. took shower and did my so called mild bed exercise with him.

he liked to stare at me when i am trying to sleep,I dont know why. ended up we didint sleep and started to kiss..

this time he went abit wild? he touched my boobs..lower private part..and cause its from the outside so I didint care.. 

LOL I touched his private part too to be exact *blushed*

NO COMMENT.

And now im at home blogging.. and the bf went to Starbucks to have his drinks.

he showed off to me that he's going to have Starbucks with his brother.

I didint mind if he show off only once.. but he did twice.

I was damn mad I really got angry.

I was about to reject his offer to his house to have the Starbucks cake.

damn pekchek.

but at last they didint get to redeem the cake too.

I am sure to buy a cup of starbucks soon.

VERY SOON

I HATE YOUUUU!

Sign Off

Erica Bong

12.24am.

28May2012

Dear diary,
today is 28th May 2012,on a monday midnight.
Let's talk about yesterday.

His rich aunt brought us to Dragon-I for lunch. its been long since I last dine in at Dragon-I.got to eat their famous xiao long bao and other delicious stuff too. Thanks to rich aunt and him :)
We then later on went to his house..and did my so-called 'mild bed exercise'.
Finally we get to kiss and chat stuffs on his bed,without exam pressure and revision stress.
I enjoyed the moment..and at times he said 'he's feeling hot' and he'd even took off his underwear just to let his ehem to feel comfortable,you know.lol
and ironically I saw his ehem erected and he blushed. 
so cute of him..like a kid lol.

We went to Meru for dinner and went to check out Setia City Mall...we didint know the way and the bf kept on asking me to ask my friends how to go..and was always afraid of stuck in the middle of nowhere..lol. Lucky I had Dearie to help me,showed me the way..and at last we reached there.

That place is beautiful.
After walking rounds and floors and as soon as we'd seen many shops are closing.. we went outside of the mall for a brief walk..
Its so beautiful outside..and its romantic.. there's so many place for a couple to hang out..and its definitely gonna be the best place for photoshooting.. and paktoh.
Yea,at times I complained in my heart..'why arent you romantic at this time,this place? deng. its like so suitable to do romantic stuffs now and you're acting like normal -.-'
but luckily he still held my hands thou..hand by hand and we walked thru the whole place.hee.

he massaged my leg for me after the walk.

as always

thank you my husband. :)

husband finding for the current invader in his house

COCKROACHH!!

girl's power! I sucked that. *blushed*

by the way,I started wrapping the stuff I bought for him the other day..and wrote a card..hope he likes it..still dont know when's the best time to give him..

***********************************************

This is gonna be about today, 28th May.

I cried at his house today..cause he said he's bad luck to have a girlfriend who always threaten and physical abuse him.

I did not..

dont you know those actions are actually..couple actions?

or can I say it this way..Its my way to show you I love you.

I love to see your face when you get teased by me..ur smile..and rarely can you see a couple would react like this..I know you're just kidding.. and I dont know why i'll cry either..but thank god you did try to console me..wiped my tears.. 

and let me tell you something diary,I like to hide myself in his hug..I felt protected that way..

I love you.

We went for Maco exam @ ET later.. the question's damn hard I dont understand a shit.

seriously,pn.azilah did not teach us that kind of stuff previously and currently.

im so gonna phail my paper..

OldTown for hi-tea after that with JinLin..its so awkward to sit on a table,with two guys,talking about guys stuff,and talking about guy's private part..and its public,even if one of the guy is your boyfriend.

LOL I know i'll soon get over it..cause the bf had been talking about this to me everytime.. 

Im gonna be so immune to this soon.deng

JinLin jio-ed us for jogging and yeah we went. proud of myself cause I can still run after I stopped exercising for 1month,and with a cacated leg..

The caring bf told me to watch out my steps..and asked me to run slower cause my leg haven fully recover yet..:)

And finally we went to subang for SNOWFLAKES. LIKE FINALLY.

I felt so happy and I am a happy girl at that moment..that feeling is..awesome. when you get to quench your cravings at the right time..with the right person..awesomeness.

and I even bought a rm2.23 soya bean canned drink,which was a lot higher the price compared to klang, to kill my cravings.so happy

soya sensation and taro series.

im loving it.

The bf fetched me to his house after that..and I didint know why at first,I thought it was just 'i want you to come to my house' reason,but no..he wants to help me massage my leg again..

seriously..how can I find another guy like you right. lol. thank you much dar

the cute fella looking for cockroach

and he looks so funny the moment he danced out of the place after the cockroach appeared.

ROFL

he complained about my nails.

my nails are ugly,and dirty.he said.

and so I told him to cut for me

he's really fed up of my nails so he cut for me and kept on

'yerrrr.' 'yukss' 'why your nail like that wan?'

deng.

And the story after this..really pekchek die me.

when we're preparing to fetch me home.. he chucked his hands inside my jacket's pocket..and flashed my tummy..

I mean, that is my weakest part and I dont want him to see..

I dont want him to see so badly cause I know he wont like it..I know Im fat..and I know his ideal girl is a girl who can wear nice clothes for him to see..

I felt so down.. and start to feel pekchek cause he'd seen my fat belly.. and now he's gonna complain much..manybe not infront of me..but in his heart.. I dont want him to degrade me..I felt so sad..

I have a very low self-confidence when it comes to body parts.. I have many imperfections..

And I know you are my bf..you have the right to see.. I know..

but there's always a reason for me to say 'No' or 'Dont see' or 'I dont want to let you see'

I felt there's something negative in there and it'll make you feel 'eww,why do I choose you?'

I dont want that to happen..

and its quite rude to flash like that,when the owner itself didint want to let you see..

there will be the time dar.. there will be the time when I will let you see..

You are my boyfriend,I will definitely let you see..but not at this time cause its awfully ugly..

I hope you will understand..

but since you've seen it before already..I guess its okay for me now..

I dont know..

And its 1hour past from the time I came back..he hadnt message me and I hadnt message him.. he just left this on instagram

tired? what are you tired of?

you're just tired? or tired of me?

just tell me then

but from your 'long story' reply I know its gonna be me.

you're tired of me.

thank you..

I dont know if he's asleep now..or doing some other things.. but Im here..blogging..

Im blessed to have this place to..voice out what's inside my heart..

sometimes there are things you want to share out,but there's no right person to talk to

Im still feeling abit pekchek..and sad..and lifeless..and speechless..

tomorrow we're going Setia City Mall.. I dont know how it'll be

I really dont know.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

1.19am.

26May2012

Dear diary,

today's 26th May, on a saturday midnight

The bf went to Langkap early in the morning today,to join his cousin's wedding dinner.

In other words,Im foreveralone.

didint get to see him today..and it was the first day after the exams..i wanted to go out so badly.

And so I joined Dearie Jas to Paradigm Mall,Kelana Jaya.

Its a new shopping mall thou,and fortunately I get to go there!

I went there with an aim to kill my boredom,didint plan to buy anything.

But i did plan to buy that special surprise for him..

I went to look for that shop..I told Jas I wanted to find that shop so badly.

We went all over and we found a sub-shop selling the brand I wanted to find.

And at last I bought it!

So happy that I bought it and the price is reasonable..till now I hadnt tell the bf I bought his present..

and Im sure he's tired now..after a whole day of activity..will let him know when its time!

And just now in the mall.. BS asked Jasmine

:Bong got new boyfriend already is it?

:No lah. Dont simply say.

:Abo why do I hear her kept on saying He this He that.

ops.I forgot the word HE is dangerous too 

Sign Off

Erica Bong

12.32am

xoxo.

25May2012

Dear diary,
Its 25th May 2012,on a friday midnight.

THANK GOD EXAM'S OVER!
finally i need not to bring along books and study stuff to wherever I go.
finally i need not to worry about havent finish revising the whole freaking syllabus
finally i need not to worry about not enough time for studies
finally i need not to worry about waking up early in the morning and then feel tired in school
but i know this will not last long.
I have to put on efforts during the 2 weeks holiday. occupy my time mostly on revising. #challengeaccepted.

Sorry diary,for neglecting you for so long. almost a week huh. blame the exams lo.
Overall the exams are okay..except for accounts and maths of course. screw them!

I went to his class for MUET listening today. and the moment JinLin saw me,he call me to sit beside the noob.that's...random lol. i rejected cause I thought sitting nearer to the radio will be better..but at last I sat beside him.but we didint talk. Its exam,what do you expect.

after school,he fetched me to his mom's saloon for a haircut. I tell you, he is the most irritating customer on earth. just to shave his side head takes for about half an hour? a guy's head? and just to shave away his side hairs? deng.
salute the bf's mom. and salute to the boyfriend. -.-

big body,with a childish character :p

AND AT NIGHT he was suppose to fetch me to snowflakeeee! but ended up we didint go cause its quite late to drive down to subang already. Instead we went to AEON with the purpose of buying a highlight pen.deng.

and in AEON, he didint hold my hands..i've been waiting for it actually but it never happen.disappointing enough...i dont know.

Then because of WeiPin we went to Pacific Coffee Company,a cafe beside Overtime to celebrate JieKai's birthday. I didint want to go actually,so does the bf. but no choice,we've to go and sit there staring at each other..Kelly went there too.

I didint know why are we there for actually...we're like 2 seperate groups..I dont know...I'd rather stay at home with him..although he always hurt me with his statement..sigh.

at the cafe...he asked me to go out and sit since its freezing cold in the cafe..and then kelly joined us.

Kelly and I talked quite alot..and the bf was there..looking around and occasionally talking to his friends too..I was thinking of what he is thinking at that time..

his thoughts when he saw Kelly.. since he and Kelly was supposed to be the couple..and then Kelly hurt him..

I want to know if he still cares.. cause the result can determine my conclusion...

I dont know..I've been thinking too much

but actually I didint take that too seriously...as I know I trust him.since he confessed to me that he want me to be his girlfriend..then at that moment of time his heart for Kelly should be dead already,only then he dared to confess..so i trust him :)

After that yumcha session..when we're on our way to carpark..he finally held my hand..like finally..i feel loved..and what's more touched..just now when we reach my apartment's carpark..he spoke.

'Wei'

*turns around* 'Huh?'

-kiss-

I was surprised by him saying first..its like.. I thought he wouldnt want it.. since he complaint alot about what hygiene stuff..I thought he didint like to kiss..but he asked for the kiss..

*blushed*

ILOVEYOU DAR.

and oh ya,on the previous post I said im a useless gf to him. I am not useless anymore cause I went to his house to take care of him during exams..make drinks for him..refilled water..check him out in his room..changed the cloth on his forehead..force him to wear jacket and trousers..force him to sweat.. and he finally became better!! he'd even said 'need thank to you. ILOVEYOU'.

:)

Sign Off

Erica Bong

1.44am

xoxo.

20May2012

Dear diary,
Today's 20th May, Sunday.

Its 520 today,which means 'I love you'. The bf did wished me last midnight.although I know he said it because he saw it on facebook,but still,he said it to me..im touched :)

Today we met again.and sadly he's not feeling well. at first was only flu..and then slowly it gets worse..I think he had fever already :(

I was at his house with him..I was there. I was there when he's sick..but I couldnt do anything to help him. I see him from being a cheerful guy to a...helpless kid..
MY HULK IS SICK :(


Its pain in my heart. It hurts. Its like a knife poked through my heart.
I wanted to do something for him..I want to play my girlfriend role this time.. I refilled water for him..check if he's sick..I took stuffs for him.. I tried boiling hot water for him,but he didint want me to do so..
I felt like..Im so useless..I failed to be a good girlfriend..When my boyfriend is sick..I cant do anything to make him feel better..I tried to give him a sweet pat..but he said my hand's sticky..I felt so..useless.
I dont want him to feel like.. got girlfriend = no girlfriend.
Its different now. He has a girlfriend..but his girlfriend is useless.
She cant cook..she cant make him comfortable..she cant do anything to make him feel better..and worse
she left his house early,leaving him alone. 
I sat at a corner of his house..occasionally turning and looking at him.. he looks as if he's okay..but his sinus is not getting better..I want to help him,but i dont know what can i do..im so phail.
I nearly shed tears at his house..when he's lying down on my shoulder..trying to rest...but he couldnt cause tomorrow's exam.. and me? I just stupidly sat there..

I dont know what can i do..other than hoping you'll be alright soon..
I know you dont want to trouble me..but I want to do something for you..
you've been saying I treat you bad..and I know it..
I felt so helpless..

get well soon,my hulk.. I want to see my cheerful and parlia hulk again :'(

Sign Off

Erica Bong

7.41pm

xoxo.

520,love.

17May2012

Dear diary
Today's 17th May,Thursday.

Its the first day of our mid year examination.  doing well so far,I guess so.
After all its only P.Am. The boyfie said he's confident with his answers,great :)

nothing much about today..just that again,when I scan thru instagram. I saw him liking other ppl's picture again. I know its not wrong to like other people's picture..either its a girl's pic or a random pic.
But i just got that jealousy feeling and its not about the trusting this time
Its about the Confidence.
Im not confident with myself. That's all.
I posted a status about the instagram thingy and later on deleted but too bad,the boyfriend saw it.
He asked me and I didint want to tell cause.. I want sincerity. LOL
I dont know la.
I think I have problem with myself. #mindfuck


But I know sooner or later Imma get used to it..and eventually get over it.
I just hope you know I'll have that feeling because I loved you.
I dont want it to be a wall or a burden for you. I just want you to act normal,be the usual you.
that's why I dont want to tell you about that status,because Im afraid I couldnt get the real you then.
if you understand what I mean..

last Saturday's picture,before tuition

he cooked for me...for the first time..and surprisingly..

-

-

-

-

-

--

-

-

-

-

he cooked Maggi for me. and he cooked for himself too.

Maggi is like a big no-no for him and he hadnt eat for like more than a year dy?

he broke his record last Saturday. deng.

a picture of him during work last Sunday.

Ikr. Handsome and cute. LOL

whenever I have that feeling..i'll think of a thousand million reasons and excuses to not make me think of it..

Sign Off 

Erica Bong

11.19pm

xoxo.

16May2012

Dear Diary

Today is 16th May,Wednesday.
Yesterday was the second time i shed tears for him. We sort of had a little cold war cause of Rohana?
She let him out late which was around 3.30pm(actual time 2.50) and im not quite sure if he reached home earlier than the time he told me he reached home.
Ended up he said I dont trust him..when in fact its actually nothing about the trust. I was just asking randomly cause It was really quite late and I didint know Rohana let his class out late.
I mean,you cant blame me. you did not tell me u reached home early that morning too when you went to MPK. =[
I was upset and angry about it..but later on everything goes back to normal and I went to his house at night to study. He'd even massaged my sprained ankle..as usual.

 thank you pig :)

Early this morning the boyfriend fetched me and Jessie for Bakuteh session,and then I again went to his house to study. Today's the last day to 'pia' for midterm so yea,I used my time wisely..i guess.
We took a break just now..on the bed.. and i felt weird when..he didint have the intention to kiss anymore.  We did played and teased..he'd even touched me..lay on me..but no kissing. I dont know why. perhaps I've got bad breath? but his breath is even worse. lol. but I seriously start to think hard..is it because I had bad breath? or he didint like to kiss? or didint like to kiss me already? or he didint like me so he didint want to kiss me? Alot of things running through my head. But my last guess was 'is it because he's scared he'll stimulate his private part when kissing,and then when i get to know,he'll be embarrassed?'.
I dont know.
But I stupidly asked him why he didint want to kiss today. He must be thinking 'what? I beg your pardon? what did you just said just now?'  LOL i seriously think Im stupid too to ask that kind of question. I mean..too random. But i really want to know why...at last I still couldnt get my answer. Its still a mystery until now. 
But I had a great time..group studying with him..not only that we can actually study..we can also see each other..and do stuffs together. I appreciate that every moment.

And i cant wait for the after 9 days. 
Tomorrow will be our mid term already. Its time for us to blurt out whatever shit we studied and revised through our form 6 hell.
Im scared of course..but I know I did preparation..at least I did my homework..my part.
I'll just cross my fingers and pray that I am able to remember the shits tomorrow.

Good luck my husband.
I wish you the best of luck and get 4flat as you wished okay.
You'll always have me supporting you from the back
ILY.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

11.14pm

xoxo.

14May2012

Dear Diary

Today's 14th of May,Monday.
Yesterday was the first time ever I cried because of him. We didint get to neither chat nor talk on the phone. He was in a bad mood and I wasnt in a very good mood.Both of us just..gave up.
HE was pissed off with me 'Oo..'-ing. and i didint know what to say which led to that answer.. then we ended our conversation in a depressing way.
My friends ask why do i look moody,or rather pale. I didint know what to answer I just shrug.
I dont dare to even look at him cause I know he doesnt like seeing my face like that..but I just couldnt help it.

 I wanted to chat but you looked as though you didint want to..

Love,i love you.


I texted him after school cause I know I was sort of wrong (although I think im innocent actually) for replying that kind of message. He asked me if I want him to fetch me to tuition.Im cheered. At least he'd also done something..to save our relationship.

We had our usual daily phonecall just now..And stupid me went and talk about my sister going Redang..which led to the 'Bikini' topic.
HE wants to see me on bikini. I mean,I've no problem with that. Just that I dont have the ideal shape to show it off yet. but I promise, I will strive hard to achieve that ideal shape,and wear it for him. I swear. the moment I get to know him,I realized. He is that kind of person..who will look into the physical perfection. He's, i think (no offence my dear) that kind of person who chooses his girl based on her physical appearance.
I told him I've physical imperfections on my body too..and I seriously dont dare to show it to him. Its degrading. I believe,after he sees it..he will start to think twice on his decision..


I personally think that that imperfection will definitely not gonna stop me from wearing a bikini. cause I know there are those bikini bottom which can cover that particular part. And if there isnt, I will try my best to find ways to wear it beautifully for him. 
I dont blame him if he cares the imperfection. I mean,I believe all guy cares. Its just that we dont know they could accept it or not. As for my dear, I think he would have a hard time accepting this. I dont know.
I just hope he could understand,that I didint want it too.
If i had the choice,i would of course choose to not have it.
I grew from big to small. and that transformation led to this
I seriously didint want it.
I hope you can understand.
I myself also have to accept the fact,and its hard for a girl to accept.
He'd even ask if there is any cream or what that can help cure or slightly shade off the imperfection.
I dont know if there is.
But from what he said, I know he cares.
I felt like telling him 'I like just the way I am.And I hope you too. I hope you wont mind these. You should accept the way I am if you want me to be your partner'
But then, I think it would be harsh..and its good if there's any cream that could help cure my imperfection. Its a plus mark.

If he ever minds,I just hope he could get over it after sometimes..and just accept the fact.
 And if he cant accept it. then I know what will happen next..

I am a rational person.

By the way,

ILoveYouTooDude.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

2am

xoxo.

13May2012

Dear Diary

Today's 13th of May,Sunday.
Current mood = sad.

Today the bf has to work at Giant for one day. I did a pop out surprise where I went to Giant to see him without telling him. Before that, I asked if he had already taken his breakfast,he ignored my question till when I went to see him,he told me he'd already taken his break. That,was rude.
I can still tolerate if he doesnt tell me he took his break already..and that he didint want me to accompany him to take his break..me..his gf.. he didint ask for it. But what I didint like is that..he didint find me when he's taking his break. not even a single message. Nevermind then..when I went to see him..he didint really talk to me. Only JinLin spoke to me,and I dont know where ChinChai went. we're just like strangers.

HE did not take his dinner till 8pm..I asked if he wants to dapao or something..since Im just somewhere nearby.. After a few calls and waits.. he said no need.the supervisor dont allow him to take his dinner. At that moment of time, I know he's moody already. The supervisor told him off. I dont know what happened cause till now he hadnt told me anything.
I know he's moody..and maybe as a girlfriend, I should do some actions..
I told him I will find him later,after he finished his work.
And his reply.. seriously..
'Dont need. My sister come fetch me ad.'
He rejected me harshly,in my opinion.
He could use the other method to tell me he doesnt need my help or something. I was just trying to be good..I was just trying to..maybe chill you out...

Till now, 11.41pm, he hadnt find me. Its near to our sleeping time already and he did not make the initiative to find me..after I gave him surprise and care.

As i was scanning through facebook..instagram..

it hurts.

its nothing about the girl

Its about him.

seriously..

TELL ME.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

11.58pm

12May2012

Dear diary,

Today is 12th of May and I am feeling moody,you can say im close to sad but its more to depressed.

Early this morning the bf fetched me for breakfast with his aunt.the first meet with his aunts after I was declared as his girlfriend. They are funny,and real.Although I dont speak Hokkien I could still get along with their jokes and laughters. There was this time they talked about future and marriage and of course they did talked about us. His rich aunt said something in hokkien and maybe she spoke quite fast,I couldnt get what she's trying to say,but of course we know its gonna be a teasy measy kind of words,you know.

After dinner we went straight to his house.after few hours of studies we then went for bed. This time we didint hug each other to sleep.I dont know why. But I didint care much cause I think ( he didint tell me ) he has that sleeping problem where he has to sleep in his comfort position,only he can sleep. And im afraid if he's not comfortable with the hug-and-sleep position,so I didint care.Till its time for us to wake up,we started to hug.and kiss. we tongue kissed quite long..and I can hear him breathing hardly as though he couldnt breathe(I was on him that time)..he,urhmm..I would say was abit..or starting to be a lil perv when he start to pull up my shirt..touch my back..wants me to lay on top of him..and he even call me to take shower with him -.- But i know he's joking.so I didint care and ask much.

Oh the bed,I asked him
'Why do you love me?'

His reply was
'cause you're rational..real..tall..have the same hobby as me..you dont speak in a kid tone..you have a long hair..you can eat alot..and is a good eater.. you're meaty..nice to hug and you can protect me..you're a good person(sometimes stubborn).. I dont mind if he's poor..I dont favor branded stuffs..'
and sarcastically he said he loved me because my eyes is smaller than his. wth -.-
(writing this in a moody feeling,im sorry)

At night after tuition,he asked me if i want to go to his house. I said okay since I know I'll sleep through my revision if i were to study at home. and this decision make me sort of regretted. At first it turned out quite well..until when the bf's done showering..and we wanted to do the questions together..
He told me that he didint want to sit on the couch with me cause he doesnt like to sit on it.lamest excuse ever. HE sat with me just right before he took his shower earlier and now he's telling me he doesnt like to sit on the couch. I thought 'hmm..maybe he doesnt like to sit on the couch after he's cleaned.' so i didint mind. but what I was thinking was 'I know you didint want to sit with me cause you've just showered,and I did not.you're just scared I'll dirty you'. I ignored his reply then.. until im feeling tired..and was suppose to go home.its around 11.30pm that time.He saw me looking very tired..eyes had quarterly closed and Im looking so fatigue..he called me to close my books and go home.
I did.
And he asked me a silly question.
'do you need me to accompany you to get your car?'

I was like..that's what a boyfriend should do..even when you know your girl will sure be alright.. you will still have to accompany her downstairs.. she's alone. She'll walk alone from your house to lift..and from lift to carpark. dont you anyhow feel worried for her safety..? even if you know she will be alright..at least just show some sincerity would you? She drove at night to your house..she's tired..eyes half closed..and you still let her walk alone..
Whereas you..you're required to just accompany her to downstairs and then get back to your house..unlike her,she has to drive home.. dont you think you should at least accompany her..?
I am so disappointed.
And if you think your girl will be alright along her way home,then dont ask her to text you when she reaches home. Its logical.
I was effin speechless and I didint feel like talking to you.


You called me just now and I speak to you coldly. I was a bit angry and sad but you didint noticed. Its good that you didint noticed..then I wouldnt have to explain much.
I know the reason why im moody is a bit silly.but that's the fact.

i hate you because you're being so inconsiderate.


nevertheless,take care and enjoy your job tomorrow..

Sign Off

Erica Bong

12.28am

xoxo.

10May2012

Dear diary

today is 10th of May. Early in the morning I text him to let him know Im driving to school and his reply seriously made my day. 'Morning my love. Haha. Just woke up. Very song hor. Drive slowly ya'.
Again, I always think he has no reason to treat me that good,I mean to call me 'my love' after I called him 'love' in the previous message. Im thinking too much huh,diary?
In school,when I was trying to keep my books in my drawer,it can hardly enter the drawer.I tried few times before I made decision to check out what's inside. Its a purple tupperware. The bf prepared breakfast for me,again. and this time,its a real surprise. I smiled broadly as though I striked toto.and I was greedy that I went and look into my drawer if there's any small paper he would wrote smtg on.Lol.
Only later when I checked my phone I saw his message telling me to check my drawer. Luckily I realized it later,or not it wouldnt be a surprise anymore =D

Its about 1pm when he came to my class to claim for the tupperware and told me he's going back soon. I was sorta disappointed actually cause..he's going back like darn early while me,cant do anyhting but to stay for the Netball competition thingy. At 1.50pm,when its time to go home,I saw him standing by the door of my class. I was thinking 'eh,I thought you should be going home dy.why you still here?'. He grinned at me,and I didint know why. He asked if I will be attending the netball competition thingy and asked if i wanted to eat. He stayed back till the very last second of our school hour,just to make sure I had my lunch. I didint want to eat actually, but...I still went for my lunch..since he'd waited for me for so long.... for the first time..he had the chance to play truant..but he didint..just because of me.


By the way, my group won the Netball competition.


I didint plan to go to his house today cause I scared I'll disturb him. But I went at last cause..I want to sleep in his hug :'(  I went to his house,we slept together.. at first both of us are on one bolster..then he gave up his..then he pull out mine..and the only bolster left for us is us. I hugged him and he hugged me even tighter...he patted on my head like yesterday..combing my hair with his fingers,playing with my hair.. looking at my shitty sleeping face.. and when we woke up, we had the heavy french kiss. a heavy one. I became a wood..a statue..my body turned stiff. his lips are thick. I'd suck and bite his lips and he'll complain. this is how we communicate..the girlfriend and bestfriend type.

He gave me a letter to see. A letter to Kelly from him. An unclaimed letter.. I know when the moment he is willing to let me see the letter,shows that he loves me. I became quite emo later after I finish reading it. I just dont like it..He is mine. I ordered him to throw it away..and he did. I know at that time,he has no feelings on Kelly already. He'd even want to gift me the CD he made for Kelly,I rejected of course..cause I love you. I want something that is made specially for me..not one that's abandoned,unwanted and then you give it to me. 
Out of a sudden,he called me to close my eyes for 5 seconds. I closed..

'is it dark?'
'hmm,yea gua..'
-silence-
'this is how my life would be without you'

I love you because..I just love you la =D

Sign Off

Erica Bong

11.09pm

xoxo

09May2012

Dear diary,

today is 9th of May,and it is yet another remarkable date and a productive day =) will tell you in a short while later.
Today the bf is there when i was on duty for the orientation thingy,but I then went back cause its boring there.I didint know why they like to go there,ponteng kings are they I guess zzz

Then after school,I did not went for the BSM meeting cause he didint want to stay. We ended up having our lunch with his gangs and I got teased again by WeiPin. can you please just stop making me blush and speechless? -.-

I went to his house to study again.he knows my toe has minor bleeding,he then went to his room to take his medicine..sit on the floor..and asked me to give him my leg..
not all guys can do that. believe me. I was speechless the moment he sat on the floor and asked me to hand over my leg to him..
and I told myself I must be serious today.must study and should not complain im tired. Ended up the bf went and sleep first and left me alone..then of course the sleeping queen me went to look for his couch also to take my nap..He didint asked if I want to go to bed with him,as what he claimed on the phone..I waited although I kknow its not gonna happen.so I just doze off like that.

I woke up,looked into his room and I saw him lying comfortably on his bed.I took the initiative to walk into his room..and wake him up..I dont know how,or why..then I ended up lying on the other side of his bed,with his bolster. I positioned myself in that way for quite a long time,we talked and laughed and suddenly he touched my back and then followed by the swing of his leg on me.
As time passes,we began to hug each other with 2 bolsters,then one..then none. I dont know why..but I really felt touched at that moment when we hugged..its like..unbelievable that he will hug me or what..perhaps I dont think im that good enough to have him.. when he hug me tightly, i seriously felt like crying..I buried my face all the time on his chest,trying to appreciate that every moment in his hug...i felt so protected.
In his hug we did talked and we tried looking at each other's naked face on the bed..I didint dare to look up to his face although i know he is trying to look at me..I was shy. I wasnt on my spec that time..I scared I'll be ugly then he will dump me or what..I dont know. Then i couldnt remember what i was saying,suddenly he kissed me,on my lips. I dont know,i guess he was just trying to shut my mouth. he kissed a few times before I get to bury my face again..and this time I did shed tears..I felt touched..I dont know why but I guess that's the power of love huh. after that we did kissed a few more times..but not the tongue kiss.. and we hug even tighter we didint want to let go anyone of us.

At night,we went to watch Avengers at tgv. He booked a couple seat which is near to the middle of the screen. I seriously dont know why I will love him cause he didint hold my hands or what later on -.- till I chained my hand around his,then he start to hold my hands..I feel it.I can feel it.
its the feeling of falling in love. Im in love.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

12.18am

xoxo.

08may2012

Dear diary

Today is 8th of May. i didint write yesterday cause there's nothing much to say.
only that i feel asleep last night while waiting for his message ended up i made him waited for my message for like..30minutes? silly him..i thought he might just end up going to bed after few ignorance of his texts.but he waited for my reply from 11.30 till 12am. and when i woke up the next morning,i felt so so damn guilty to make him wait and that he called me through viber for 9 consecutive times..i was touched love,seriously :)

I love you because I love you


Today's the first day of Lower 6 orientation. the bf's sister came to talk to me in DMA,and i was surprised by that. while he was talking with his gang,and of course there's Sarah. I know i must ignore and mustn't control his social life,so i chose to look away.it's sad..but what can i do right,diary.what can i do.

After school I went to his house to study for P.Am. a great excuse for us to meet each other up and have a lil chat. He showed me his childhood stuffs, from notebooks to pokemon cards to dont-know-what-swords.
It was funny and i was cheered to see his baby actions when he showed me his stuff.
OF COURSE we did our revision too,diary. after reading one chapter we did the questions together. he sat very close to me.I can feel the intimacy between us. I seriously got no reason to ask for more,its enough for me to have him doing all those couple actions. He pat on me,he swept my hair away,he 'an gugu'-ed me -.-..and I didint stop him.
After our revision, he showed me some of his past photos. We laughed,commented,degraded and i teased him. He didint say much but to agree shyly with what I said. and the best part is, we talked and sat like how a couple used to talk and sit,you know.and we're just infront of his sister. and his dad's around.
But i dont feel awkward. I feel...free. I dont know. Its weird.
I love you because I dont know why.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

11.12pm

xoxo.

before love is in the air~

25 April 2012- this sentence sound serious and hurtful..

25 April 2012- ..the moment when he's thinking about the 'fine' he should give me..

25 April 2012- ..his 'fine' and also FIRST confession <3

26 April 2012- that 'something' that kept me waiting for god damn long

27 April 2012- the moment when i said i dont want to go yamcha but still went later on..

1 May 2012- his first time trying to control me,in a lovely way =)

3 May 2012- his brain went abit sot after he sprained his leg.lol

3 May 2012- i am willing to..

3 May 2012- for the first time he said he loved me..

3 May 2012- i am already missing you the moment you tell me you're not going to school cause you sprained your ankle.. :(

3 May 2012- ahaks! am song xD

3 May 2012- I miss you dearly..

4 May 2012- his first time saying I LOVE YOU to me..

1 May 2012- i call this FLIRT.ishh

1 May 2012- his SECOND confession

1 May 2012- that makes me a unique girl in your heart,i guess :)

Dear Diary, i am done with this already.

at least this will guarantee that I wont and never gonna forget what happened the day before 5th of May 2012.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

11.26pm

xoxo.