27June2012

Dear diary
today is 27th of June,on a wednesday afternoon

I went to the canteen today and I couldnt see you. Later on you told me you sneaked out of the school with JinLin and Sarah to eat wantan mee.
Im happy that you're being honest with me.. at first I didint really mind..but I dont know why..I felt very jealous after that.
When you told me about it..Sarah smacked your shoulder and said 'must you tell out?'
wtf?
why cant i know?

After you walked out of your class..I became very,very emo.
I am jealous,dear.
You gave me your tupperware with bread,call me to finish it.
At that time Im really very angry.
You call your mum to prepare you bread,and then you went out to eat with Sarah,and now
because you dont want your mum to know you didint eat your bread,you push it to me.
Im what?
Give me your bread when you dont want it,although you know i hadnt eat.
I know your sincerity but I really dont like that
I want breakfast that's prepared by you,not the one your mum prepared for you and you didint eat it and then push it to me.

I didint want to let you see my angry bird face..I planned to act normal infront of you later
Who knows,you passed by my class and you saw it.
I told you ntg happen,when in fact there is something happen.
I dont want you to feel tired of my attitude..almost everyday Im being very emo.
Im scared you'll eventually feel bored of it so I'd made the decision to hide.

What actually happen is..
I am jealous with the fact that you went out and eat with Sarah.
Why must you jio her? isnt Atiqah around?
That's not the point
The point is..
Im jealous she can get very close to you at school.. people see you guys as.. I dont know..
Even your bestfriend can be closer with you in school than your own girlfriend.


I dont mind if you said you're playing with her just because she's your bestfriend
I mean,yeah
you have your social life and I have mine
But i hope Im also known..
Known in school,as your girlfriend.. so that other girls will be extra aware of themselves infront of you..
I want to let people know you have a girlfriend and you're very close to her too.
not only when we're alone,you're close to me..
I want it infront of our friends too
if you're close to me,as close as when you're with Sarah,then  I wouldnt mind much
but this is different
in school,it seems like she's your girlfriend.
Sigh
I dont know what im typing..
maybe its easier to said it face to face..
but I dont want you to feel annoyed
so this is the only place.
Im feeling much better now.
cause i've found a way to handle it

I will not care anymore
go ahead if you want to be very close with her,play with her
I dont mind and dont want to care anymore
After all, you have your social life and I have mine
peace.
I hope I can do it. I wont get jealous easily,I'll try.

Sign Off

Erica Bong

3.25pm